Saturday 6 July 2013

Smackdown recap - 07/05/2013

It's that time of week again! With CM Punk promised to appear tonight on Smackdown I'm calling that we will hear JBL say "we fight on Friday nights" at least once.

Question: Is there a better way to kick off a show than with CM Punk?
Answer: Emphatically no.
The ovation for Punkers tonight is ridiculous. He starts off by saying (rather accurately) that John Cena would come out to the ring and talk about America and how it was built on hustle, loyalty and respect, because lets face it the guy tends to get off point. But Punk says he tends to have a drastically different point of view on a lot of things to Cena, and the Fourth to him means independence and not conforming to someone else's rules. Sounds familiar... He starts talking about how if someone tells him to do something, even if it's smart, him being CM Punk instinctually wants to do the opposite. Now, correct me if I'm wrong guys, but it feels like he may be touching on some Paul Heyman issues here. He goes on to say that he is a simple guy with two simple goals - get his hands on Lesnar, and win the MITB match and become WWE Champion again.
(Obligatory CM Punk screencap)
Punker gets interrupted mid sentence by the music of one Alberto Del Pleasegoaway. "Wow, I wasn't done!" Punk proclaims rather humorously. In defense of ADR he gets decent heat tonight. Although anyone who interrupts a CM Punk promo is guaranteed heat. ADR says this his show, and Punk rightly says well look no, it's not. In response to being asked what he's doing out here, ADR rambles about how the Fourth of July, "playing with the internet" and how Ziggler disrespected Mexican culture last week. Really not sure how this is answering Punk's question, and by the looks of things neither is Punk.
Punk logically (as always) points out that until a few weeks ago Alberto would come out here and praise America as a land of opportunity and stuff, but everyone saw through him. ADR has no comeback so he just says "somebody is to teach you manners" and "I am the World... Heavy... Weight... Champion" (too many dramatic pauses). I smell a main event! Punker responds that all that means is that he's the number one contender to Punk's title of Best in the World. He tells Punker to leave, and referring to his earlier point Punk says that sounds like he's being told to do something so he's just gonna stay. Let me holla at ya playas! Teddy Long makes ADR vs CM Punk the main event for tonight. Called it!

Today must be my lucky day (or WWE is trying to thank me for my years of loyal fanitude) because after the commercial break we're backstage with CM Punk. Enter Paul Heyman, who has something to say as his best friend. He claims the match with ADR makes no sense, nothing to gain everything to lose, that sort of stuff, but Punker says sure yeah you have a point, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Heyman, did you not listen to his speech earlier? Reverse psychology works. He also wants to manage Punker at MITB. Punk says no.

First match of the night, and The Usos are already in the ring (jobbers entrance) to be facing Team Rhodes Scholars. Silence ignoramuses, Damien Sandow has something to say! They pretty much just talk about MITB. Cody is dominated by both Usos early on, as Sandow yells helpful things such as "referee do your job!" and "kick out, Cody!" from the apron. Cody fights back and tags in Sandow. Sandow wears down Uso 1 and tags Coddles back in. Cody does some more quick damage and tags Sandow back in. Rhodes Scholars try to double team Uso 1, who escapes, sending Codes flying over the ropes to the apron, where he receives a kick to the face from Uso 2. Meanwhile in the ring, Sandow gets the same kick to the face from Uso 1. Uso 2 gets tagged in, and the Usos head to opposing corners, climbing to the top rope and landing a double diving splash for the pinfall victory. It's a great display of genuine tag teaming, setting them up strong for their championship match at Money in the Bank. While celebrating their victory, The Usos are interrupted by Seth Rollins who is on the titantron with Ambrosius. Oh wait, Roman Reigns is there too, Seth was just unintentionally cutting him out. Rollins explains they are stronger than ever while Ambrose looks like "bitch please" and Reigns scares the crap out of me as per usual. Ambrose then talks about how he's gonna beat Christian then win MITB like it's all just another day for him.

Diva time, Alicia Fox (jobbers entrance) is ready in the ring to face Kaitlyn w. Layla, and either this crowd is being made louder in the truck or Kaitlyn is getting a really decent reaction. About two minutes into the match, AJ skips her way down to and around ringside. Kaitlyn doesn't seem to let it bother her at first, but eventually gets distracted enough for Alicia to kick her in the head. Kaitlyn knocks AJ off the ring apron but Alicia Fox capitalizes and gets the pinfall victory. AJ runs away with Kaitlyn in hot pursuit and Layla trying to keep up.

When we return, AJ is still trying to escape Kaitlyn backstage when she runs into the Bella Twins. Oh, good. They're here. AJ says she doesn't have time, but they force her to stay and listen, even though what they have to say is pointless. They tell her the title will be theirs soon, but AJ says she doesn't care and continues on to Big E, saying they need to go because even though she lost Kaitlyn due to Kaitlyn having big arms and thus she is less aerodynamic (AJ's words not mine), Kaitlyn will most likely catch up. Big E asks what about Dolph, but AJ says he has a match tonight and they don't have enough time to wait for him, so she's going to text him later.
 Big E laughs at AJ, and as they walk off she screeches at him "that is not running! Knees up, knees up!". It's kind of amazing.

Renee Young is backstage now with Christian and Randy Orton, who have a match against each other tonight. It's pretty pointless, they basically both just say they're going to win tonight and at MITB.

Randy Orton's accent color for this evening is grey. As Orton vs Christian kicks off I start having intense 2011 flashbacks. The match is mostly back and forth, slowing down when Christian tosses Orton to the outside but picking up pace when both men land big moves, Orton with the Thesz Press and Christian with a diving crossbody. It's very evenly matched with lots of reversals, as you would expect from two big superstars with history like theirs. Christian reverses the RKO, and Orton does a really cool slide down and through Christian's legs to get a near fall. Orton begins to build momentum after that, hitting a scoopslam. However Christian stops him, going for the Killswitch, which Orton reverses, going for the RKO, but Christian reverses. Christian hits the Spear (oh the tears) to get a near fall. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Orton dodges it and hits the hanging DDT. He almost and I mean almost hits the RKO, but Christian counters, sending Orton to the mat but leaving Christian standing. Out of nowhere, Orton hits the RKO, getting the pinfall victory and ending an incredibly evenly matched competition.

Backstage, Teddy Long is on his phone as always, until interrupted by Paul Heyman. Teddy asks Heyman to go on commentary for the main event, despite Punk's wishes of Heyman not getting involved.

Ziggler comes out for his aforementioned match, wearing AJ's t-shirt tonight. Awwww. Ziggy talks about how Del Douchebag and how he couldn't convince people that he's somewhat likeable (yep that is correct). Ziggler says you're damn right he's cocky and arrogant, because he does things in the ring that no one else can, and at MITB he will get his championship back. I sure hope so, buddy. Having 3MB's theme song follow a promo like that from such a talented guy seems just bizarre. Ziggler is to face McIntyre tonight after taking out him and the other dorks in 3MB on Raw. After a surprising amount of offense from McIntyre, Ziggler builds up momentum and ultimately gets the victory with the Zig Zag. He's attacked by Slater and Mahal after the match, but Ziggler quickly escapes. After some taunting, he returns to the ring, only to escape their grasps once again. Show... Off. Awww yeah.

As Summer Rae emerges from the entrance way to do her solo prelude to Fandango's entrance, JBL proclaims "we dance on Friday nights!" Oooh, so close. But we still have time. On a completely irrelevant note, Michael Cole is glad to see Fandango's rainbow outfit back. Fandy's opponent tonight is Justin Gabriel, the cutie. Good to see he doesn't get a jobbers entrance this week, I'd actually forgotten what his entrance music sounded like. Between Fandy's dancing, J.Gabe's high flying style and both men's athleticism, it's a very entertaining and fast-paced, albeit brief, match. Fandango lands the leg drop for the pinfall victory. "It's Faaaaaaaandaaaaaangoooooo", Fandy reminds us.


It's clobberin' tiiiiiime! CM Punk looks in great shape in the early goings of the match, hitting all the moves we love to see, but before he can go for the diving elbow drop, ADR rolls out of the ring. Boo hiss. The commentators are focusing mostly on Heyman and his part in CM Punk's career at the moment, as Punker goes for the GTS. Alberto reverses, and regains control. He does what he does best, wearing Punker down and keeping him grounded. Punk gets caught with a kick to the head when he goes up top again. He kicks out of a near fall, and is able to reverse ADR's attempt at the Cross Armbreaker. The fight goes to the outside, in particular near the announce table, and of course, the human walrus does exactly what Punker has asked him not to, and inserts himself in the match by trying to convince ADR to stop. He gets knocked down for his efforts. Punk doesn't take kindly to that, flying off the announce table and knocking down Alberto. The match ends in a no contest due to double count out, but Punk continues to beat up Del Rio. Meanwhile Heyman continues to amazingly sell what was a basic punch to the face.
Punk takes ADR back in the ring for a GTS, then goes to check on Heyman. Awww.

Quote of the night, claiming what is his once again is JBL: [To Michael Cole] You have no friends, what would you know (to which Cole weakly responded "I have a few").

See y'all in a few days for Raw!

No comments:

Post a Comment