We are welcomed into Smackdown one of the top five ways possible - with Daniel Bryan making his way to the ring. Yes! Yes! Yes! Because let's be honest, when Daniel Bryan is around, only good things happen. His Royal Highness of Douchebaggery Michael Cole mentions that he agrees with Orton that Bryan is the weak link. Bryan, now with a microphone, angrily recalls having his match stopped for an injury he was willing to fight through on Raw. Of course, to Bryan this means that the officials think he's the weak link and not tough enough. He goes on to rage about Orton for not helping him to keep the match going and for giving him what I thought was an adorable if not slightly homosexual cuddle and a pat on the head. As one would expect, Randal comes out, trying to convince DB that the officials really were concerned, and that he respects him even more now. DB continues to misconstrue respect for pity, and Orton doesn't seem too upset about telling him that DB will be carried out after their match tonight, not walked out. Respect that. Word life! Wait, nope, sorry, not quite.
Sheamus makes his way to the ring after the commercial break. Poor baby is probably confused. Randal already left, you missed him (I'm having RKBrogue withdrawals. Don't look at me). Turns out Sheamus has a match tonight against.... WHOOOAAAA! You're darn tootin' it's Cody Rhodes and his wonderful theme song. It's a generally back and forth match, but Cody takes control for majority, trying to keep the bigger Sheamus grounded while Damien Sandow and his ponytail yell encouraging things from ringside. Anyway Sheamus comes back and knocks Sandow from the apron while he's at it, but Cody counters White Noise, leading to Sheamus applying the Cloverleaf to pick up both the victory and a post-match attack from Damien Sandow.
It's Wyatt Family promo time! I gotta say, I liked Husky Harris as Husky Harris. But I LOVE Bray Wyatt, for completely different reasons. And I am excited to see the Wyatt Family finally make their debut.
Oh look Curtis Axel. Can you sense my excitement? No? Probably because I'm about 10 seconds away from fast forwarding. But I like Wade Barrett, and even if the outcome of this IC Title match is obvious I will watch anyway, just for you. Also Miz is on commentary. Not surprising, considering Barrett and Axel are both heels it only makes sense to keep The Miz involved in the feud as well. Side note, I'm super excited for the Maryse/Miz wedding. Barrett assumes control of the match, then Axel, then Barrett. It's a very brash contest, nothing pretty. The way Paul Heyman side-gallops away from Barrett is quite pretty though. And very amusing. Axel dodges an elbow drop, putting him back in control, and hits a spinning neckbreaker for the pinfall victory. Forgive me for not being too excited about this. I'm not a Curtis Axel guy (er, girl). Miz confronts him after the match, but Paul Heyman drags Axel away.
After a full-length replay of Mark Henry's Oscar worthy performance comes AJ Lee. And boy does she get heat! It's incredible, people showing something other than indifference for Divas. I love it. Snaps for AJ. Also Big E's making an appearance, which we love. Natalya gets a jobbers entrance but hey, beggars can't be choosers, at least she's getting a match! Also can someone please explain to me why nothing ever came of Layla being obsessed with Kaitlyn's championship? I like Layla. Natalya uses her size to her advantage early on, but AJ wears Natalya down with a sleeper while the crowd chants "AJ's crazy". I love seeing a Diva's match with some solid suplexes and submission holds as opposed to roll ups and time wasting. AJ picks up the win with the Black Widow, and leaves me wanting nothing more than a submission only match between these two for the championship in the future. It would be a silly oversight by WWE to not have them engage in something. But Kaitlyn and Layla are watching from backstage so looks like for now, Kaitlyn vs AJ continues. Over walks Aksana (Who?) and Kaitlyn attacks her for making snide comments, leaving Aksanana (unintentional error but I'm gonna leave it) rolling in trash while the face Divas hold back Kaitlyn, who looks as elegant as ever.
Now it's time for Smackdown is Jericho vs Senor Jackass Alberto Del Rio. One of these guys really deserves to be World Heavyweight Champion and the other deserves to be sitting pretty on the mid card. Seems WWE got a bit confused with which one is which though. The match is controlled by Jericho for the most part early on, and Del Rio lands awkwardly on his knee on the outside. I spot Sign Guy! After a kick to the head Del Rio regains control, but there's some more back and forth action before Del Rio sets up for the Cross Armbreaker, which Jericho reverses and goes for the Walls, but Del Rio revereses it into the Cross Armbreaker, which is again reversed into the Walls, which are finally locked in. Ricardo provides the distraction, and gets himself locked in the Walls for his trouble. He taps, but of course it means absolutely nothing. Then out comes Dolph Ziggler (yay!) attacking Del Rio, and getting a Codebreaker from Jericho for his trouble. Um yes, petition to stop hitting Ziggler in the head please? Del Rio comes back, kicking Ziggler in the head really... really... really hard. Hey Alberto, I got two words for ya: Fuck You.
Prepare yourselves for some serious, intense competition, ladies and gents, because 3MB are in the ring ready for a match. Well, Drew McIntyre is ready for a match, against Christian, making his return to Smackdown. Gee, I wonder who's gonna win?! In McIntyre's defense he does get in a more than decent side slam. Christian hits the Killswitch for the pinfall victory in a match lasting a total of two minutes. Christian tells the Universe he came back for that one more match. But apparently that's an injustice, because here come The Shield - from the entrance way, no less, how bizarre. He gets beaten down as you can imagine, as I optimistically wait for Edge to come down and save him. Needless to say, he doesn't.
I gotta say, I haven't loved CM Punk's look this much since the blonde hair. Somehow, the Wolverine thing works for him. After a replay of Punk's matches on Payback and Raw, Renee Young is backstage interviewing Paul Heyman. Sidenote: I really like Renee Young. I hope when she starts wrestling she's actually good and ready. In response to Renee asking about CM Punk's relationship with Heyman, Heyman makes references to some personal events in Renee's life, such as her recent break up and her estranged relationship with her father. Ouch. Heyman is full of sass, and answers no questions surrounding Brock Lesnar's attack whatsoever.
Main event time! It's pretty back and forward early on, with DB trying to keep Orton grounded in submission holds as much as he can. Orton takes the fight to the outside like he did on Raw. After the commercial we're back in the ring. Soon enough, DB gets all worked up and attacks Orton with a series of kicks and a crazy look on his face. He shouts "I am not the weak link", but after a series of fun looking reversals, Orton hits the scoop slam. Vintage Orton! Orton looks like he's about to be beaten after a solid kick to the head, but he kicks out. There's a moment where Randal sort of hesitates before punching Bryan in the skull (punching, not punting). "Deja vu, folks!" Michael Cole exclaims as Orton drops Bryan ribs-first on the barricade outside the ring. Bryan manages to knock Orton down though, and after some hesitation flings himself through the ropes into Orton, taking them both out. Daniel Bryan gets back in the ring in time, but Orton doesn't, and Bryan wins by count out. Which he really isn't happy with. He gets into a back and forward "Yes!"/"No!" confrontation with referee John Cone when he asks for the match to be restarted, but whether it is or not I'm not sure, because that's the end of Smackdown for this week.
Quote of the night goes to JBL, as it always does when CM Punk isn't around:
Cole: Are you listening to anything I'm saying tonight?
JBL: Why would I listen to you?
Until next week!
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